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The film was born out of a conversation with my grandmother, in which I discovered that she had never studied, and that this was the greatest regret of her life. This shook me and raised many questions. I set out on a journey to uncover the stories of her life, and found that since a young age, my grandmother has always done everything for her family and never for herself, living in a world of self-sacrifice. The film is an attempt to understand her, myself, and our repeated choice to give up on ourselves for the sake of others. Haviva speaks softly. She has a quiet and biting sense of humor, beneath which lies her intense anger toward herself for not insisting on her own needs in her youth. Her feet, swollen and aching, have carried everything she denied herself, and now in her old age, they collapse under the weight of her life. My feet too are swollen and rough; I deeply identify with her, because like her, I am someone who gives up on myself for my family and loved ones. My grandmother and I are trapped side by side in her home. It is hard for her to walk, and her feet hurt. Out of a desire to dwell in a space, where only she and I face the reality of our lives. Outside, through the windows, the beauty of life is always there. But it is unattainable, just standing there, beautiful and colorful. The film is crafted delicately and naturally, with the existing natural, and dim, lighting inside the house, and it portrays my grandmother’s life in detail. She finds the drama of her life in the turbulent, tragic Turkish TV series she watches. Close-ups seek to reveal what lies beneath the surface. Static shots observe without movement, seeking to understand, in silence. The film gathers many moments of laughter, sadness, comfort, and closeness, and through editing, I give space to everything that arose in each moment to sweep you away with its intensity. During the filming, I realized that I was not only documenting my grandmother, but also myself through her. The film is a gift, a first attempt to choose myself. Maybe it will also show my grandmother that things can be different, for her and for me.
Country: Israel
Graduated with a BA in Film from Sapir College. During her studies, she was mostly involved in personal creation, acting, and various production roles, including producer and assistant director. Directed 3 narrative short films and two short documentaries. In addition, she produced two narrative short films. While studying, she worked in two schools as a film teacher's assistant and in a social project for at-risk youth, where she guided and taught film.
