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Director's Statement: When I went home for a visit during the COVID crisis, I discovered a drawer full of drawings, paintings and pieces I had written at the age of sixteen. I realized that if I died and my family found these materials in the drawer, they would, through the artwork, have a pretty good snapshot of exactly what I was thinking and feeling at that age. So I asked myself, what would the snapshot look like now, what’s going on in my head ten years later? I tried to do exactly the same here in this film—give you a peep inside my head. At the same pace in which I think, and with the same visual rhythms. Before I started work on this film I was in a difficult place, undergoing what I saw as a kind of creative death, an inability to paint and write spontaneously and freely. Every time I tried to create it felt contrived, artificial. At night I was hounded by frightening thoughts and bad dreams. Yet as soon as I started working on this project, something changed. The film became a therapy. Just as the film has no conclusion, I too have no “conclusions” about making this film. Dreams and thoughts too, have no real end point. But I’ve learned a lot, particularly from how others respond to how I am reflected in my film.
Country: Israel
Meitar Flam grew up in a religious hippy home, attended an alternative school and was later homeschooled. During high school she majored in Art at the Israel Museum. After high school Mietar completed two years’ National Service working with youth at risk, then she travelled to Ghana to teach science, art and theater at an African school for three months. Meitar began her four-year, full time studies at the Maaleh Film School in 2018, majoring in scriptwriting and directing. Her third year graduating documentary, “As If I Am” was a semi-finalist in the Student Academy Awards of 2021. Meitar is at present working on her graduate narrative film.